Friday, April 17, 2015

Finally writing

My final post was written nearly a month ago. Let's be honest, that is really pretty damn sad. I miss writing. I miss the consistency that I used to have updating this. I miss being able to express myself through the written word and having a relationship with other writers. My work life and home life have been so busy that I have not even been able to think about it.

I guess it is what it is...  Sometimes things get in the way of all of the things that you want to do and you just need to make it happen.

And maybe sometime I will just figure out my schedule well enough in order to balance all of the things that I would like to be able to do. But for now, I prioritize and I just make do with the time that I have to really hammer through the important things. And work and Roo and J have to be the priority all the time, they just do.

We are nearly over the busy hump at work (I hope), and my time will become slightly more flexible, and I might be able to squeeze in other workouts or time to write. I keep saying that, I feel like I have been saying that for months, but this time I might actually mean it. We have been going through the audit at work and it just has been never ending. But I really think that there is a chance that we might be over the big hump at the end of April.

I am hoping for June to be a nice relaxed month because we have a lot on the books that month. There are the obvious things, Father's Day (Addie and I are starting to make plans!) and my birthday. But then there are less obvious things like planned trips. One weekend J will be gone in Vegas for a conference. On Wednesday of the following week, I am flying out there to join him for a long weekend. The following week, I am flying out to Salt Lake City to meet a few Oiselle ladies to run the Ragnar Relay out there. It will be my first Ragnar experience, although not my first overnight relay. And then I will be back in Ohio just in time for my birthday!

But here is a few quick Roo shots, because I am sure you all (if anyone is still reading!) miss her little nugget face!

And yes, she still has a Paci. She is the "class biter" so if she tries to bite someone, they stick that in her mouth. Let's be honest, I would rather have her do that than bite another kid!

And a few where you can see her sweet face. She is the best.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

A Relaxed Saturday

Gosh darn it. I am upset that I have not had the time to get in here and post lately. Once again, work has completely taken over my life, I have not had much time to write, and my workouts have also been suffering.

I am determined to make the flip BACK to morning workouts next week. I have to. Getting a workout in keeps me feeling happy, so I think it is very important for me to be consistent.

Last night I was taking a shower and thinking. I might head over to a sporting goods store of some kind (I am hoping to find a "play it again sports" close to our house) and buying an EZ bar and maybe even a standard barbell with a few weights. I know what weights I might like to have, and I know which ones to get first as well, since I know that I would have to be purchasing these in shifts. I am not sure that I am going to do it at this point, but I am definitely starting to think about it. I mean, it obviously is going to be a big deal to spend a good chunk of change, but it will be worth it eventually, I think.

Today is Saturday, Addie is in bed, and J is in Florida for some work stuff (and also some fun stuff). We are planning on running some errands this morning for groceries and to target, because obviously target is necessary. I mean, that is a standard. Then we will come home, I will give Addie some lunch, and then off to naptime for her. When she is down for her nap, I am planning on squeezing in a quick 6-7 mile tempo, eating lunch, and hopefully getting my brown bananas baked into some bread (fingers crossed I find a good recipe!)

I think Target is basically going to involve summer clothes for Addie and I. The only clothes I have for summer are running things, and I am trying to step things up a bit. And obviously with her, she is growing like a little weed, like most going-on-2 year olds. So we should be having a pretty good day. Dinner is TBD today, since we were originally going to have a playdate that got cancelled, unfortunately. So we will see what we end up doing. I would like to try some new recipe or something since J is out of town!

Wish us luck!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Weekly Workouts: March 2

I am beat. Work is still insane, I feel like I have spent the last month and a half taking a daily beating from the auditors being in house. But I suppose that is all part of the fun (or something?) Every year, I think I become more and more grateful that in my public accounting days I made the decision to focus on tax rather than audit. This year is no exception, and it likely is FURTHERING that belief. It is just a lot of work. More than I care to spend time doing.

But it is part of my job to get us, as a company, over this hump, and so I will continue to press on, press forward, and make it happen.

But I have gotten through another week of workouts, another week where I felt like I was on the top of my game and really succeeding to get in the workouts that I wanted. I think taking the approach of moving the days around to try and fit in what I wanted has really helped me to step it up. I adjusted my runs to doing two during the week and two on the weekend (including my long run) and that has made the difference in allowing me more time to lift on a regular basis, which is all I really wanted. That is what is making me happy right now, so I need to fit it in.

Let's look at last weeks workouts (and skip the prior week), since that is long gone at this point.

Monday: strength, legs
Tuesday: Speedwork. Warm up 1 mile @ 7:15, 2x800m @ 7:03, 1 mile @ 7:15, cooldown. 6.5 total miles
Wednesday: off
Thursday: am - 5 miles easy, pm - upper body strength
Friday: lower body strength
Saturday: 5 miles, fartleks (5 mins on, 2 minutes off with wu and cd) 8:00 average pace
Sunday: 7 miles

Totals: 23.5 miles and 3 days strength training.

In reality, I would LIKE to get 4 days of strength training (so I can have two days of upper body) but that might have to wait until the race is over...  Another week closer to the race. Once it is over, then I can be all about NEW goals. BETTER goals. Things that will make me happy!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Workouts: Week of February 16

Another strong week has come and gone, another week where I felt like I was doing the workouts that I was meant to do, rather than the ones that I felt like I had to do. I modified my week as I wanted to, so I could sleep or have lunch with coworkers or whatever, and that led me to feel like I accomplished a lot, which was much needed. At this point, I feel like each week that I move through is a success. I suppose that is where the key is. If I am having a successful week, I need to be pleased with myself for making everything work. I have to.

So, let us take a peek at my schedule from last week and see how everything played out.

Monday: Legs (home workout, including some plyometrics!)
Tuesday: 5.5 miles, speedwork
Wednesday: 5 miles, easy pace, arms
Thursday: off
Friday: Legs (at gym this time)
Saturday: 5.75 miles with three at tempo effort (7:30 pace)
Sunday: 7 miles, easy (treadmill) 8:30 pace

Totals: 23.25 miles run. 3 strength workouts

Another kick ass week in the books. I am not sure why I am suddenly back to lifting with a vengeance, but I am so glad that I decided to screw running for now, not worry so much about the SUPER long distances, I just have not been interested in them, so why should I spend so much time focusing on them?

Friday, February 20, 2015


I know that I never really set any goals for 2015. I typically LOVE to have an "end game" when it comes to goal setting, etc. Right now, I do not have one. Not even a little. No marathon. No competition. No weight gain or loss goals. No races. No books to read. I set zero 2015 resolutions or goals. Zero.

That is something that I am struggling with. I tend to have a very much singular focus when I get something in my head that is some sort of goal. Obviously, that is not a super healthy thing. I need to be a well rounded adult. And the way that I tend to react to things, it might be better for me if I do not have any super solid goals or plans for the year. It will hopefully help me to focus on myself and getting "well" and getting "balanced" which is obviously what I have had a ton of issues with over the last few years.

I know that my singular focus can interfere in most ways of my life. Certainly, it can be in the way of me having solid and healthy relationships whether it is with friends or anything else.

I know that generally goals are a positive thing in life, but when they tend to completely overtake your life, that is when you have issues. And I am definitely one of those all or nothing type of people. I know that it is something that I need to really work on, so that is pretty much my ONLY resolution for 2015.

Do not set goals. Figure out what you want to do/enjoy and do it. Have fun. Work out for fun and leanness, but don't obsess about it. Enjoy.

So here is the ACTUAL planless plan.

  1. read books. for fun. not a certain number, but when you want to.
  2. run races. any distance. any times. have FUN with it.
  3. lift weights. I love lifting weights. so do it.
  4. don't freak out over a missed workout. it is ONE workout.
  5. play with addie. she will be 3 before i know it.
  6. be honest when i want to do things or NOT do things. be upfront about my feelings.
So there you have it. 6 goals that have no parameters around them.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

A grown up little girl!

So, Addie is older than 18 months. The child is more than a year and a half old. I have no idea where all of the time has gone and how she got to be so big, so quickly. It just seems crazy to me. I am definitely struggling with how quickly time has gone.

Here are just a few shots to give you an idea of how much this baby has turned into a little girl!

She is fantastic.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

working through stress

So what are your thoughts on following your dreams? I know that my dreams have significantly changed and updated over the years. I mean, for example...

  1. When I graduated from college it was all about career. I wanted to be a partner in a firm, and that was it. It was the only real goal I had.
  2. Time passed, and I decided that maybe a family was the way to go.
  3. I have the family now, and I need to spend some more time reaching out, figuring myself out and finding a balance in my life between the above things...
So it has been a long and winding road. It can be difficult to think about the fact that I have been through years and years of therapy, and that is necessary for me to really dig in and try to figure myself out. 
Using what I am learning in therapy through emotional brain training is really helping me to dig in and figure out where my stress wires are. I likely tend to lean toward the stress in my brain, rather than the potential joy (what is considered to be the highest brain state in this training). I know that I need to spend time working through my states a little bit better than I have been, and I need to pay more attention to myself and "check-in" more to make sure that I am staying on track.

Obviously, I am not a therapist, and if you need help with issues like I have needed, please seek out the help of a professional, but I definitely recommend looking into EBT, because it has done a lot for my mindset recently.